somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
