i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
