we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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