i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
