she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my being single is dangerous.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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