I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
