I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
