Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
