so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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