sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Who put my cat in the fridge?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
