My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
