smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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