She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
