Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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