I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
