Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
