Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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