Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
