Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
