What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
