I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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