I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
