I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
