You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
