Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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