I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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