Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
