these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
