I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
