My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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