dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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