he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
