My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
