why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
