So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
