His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This is not my ceiling
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
