I'm so fucking centered right now
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
