please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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