She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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