you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
