Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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