Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
