So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
