i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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