She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
