every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
