His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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