when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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