You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
