u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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