Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
