Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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