He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
