Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
