Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
