we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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